I almost told myself it was okay that he was giving me those “I still love you and wanna be with you” kisses while he had his fingers crossed behind his back. I knew. I tried to convince myself that being comfortable with the superficiality in all of it was ok. It was a classic case of heart vs. brain.  I knew it was wrong. I tried to totally ignore the fact that he took my heart (which was already on my sleeve for the taking, big no-no) and played with it. Because I had gotten used to him. I had gotten comfortable. After it kinda hit me that the shit was a done deal I still tried to hold on to whatever I could because I was THAT afraid of something that I, deep down, knew was damn near inevitable from the jump.  We weren’t meant to be together. I just ignored all of the signs. 

prayer changes things. so every morning, afternoon, night, or whenever it crosses my mind i pray to God that i fall out of love with this nigga just about as fast as I fell in it. ……if not faster.

hallelujah.

love is patient. especially in my case. there’s someone who loves me for exactly who i am. hopefully God leads him to me.

thuggin it til then.

i went to the strip club last night w/ my wimmen frenz. cuties everywhere, but there was also tits & ass everywhere so we didn’t really stand a chance. my homegirl DID slide some singles into tynk’s thong tho ;) it was a good time.